What to Expect
What to Expect
People can be very supportive in the initial days after a death. There are lots of things for them to do: help to make funeral arrangements, notify other friends and family of the death, and take care of day-to-day chores. It's a matter of being friends: taking on the necessary tasks so survivors have the time and energy to actively mourn their loss.
Unfortunately, once the funeral is over, things can change dramatically. This support system can dissolve quickly as people return to their normal routines. The phone stops ringing and the bereaved may find their days and nights to be long and lonely.
What to Expect Before the Funeral
It's a common enough experience; a loved one dies, and now you've got to face something you've never done before. You've got to go to a funeral home to make their funeral arrangements. Now, not only are you emotionally affected by their death, you're anxious and really need to know what to expect when you arrive. So, let's talk about that for a bit.
You should know that we've taken great pains to make your experience with us as easy as possible. Here's how:
- We've put a lot of work into making our funeral home a pleasant place to spend time. That means our interior design is easy on the eye, the rooms are spacious yet cozy, and the furniture is comfortable.
- Our staff is both professional and personable. We believe that when you leave, you'll consider us more than funeral directors; we'll be well on our way to being friends. Friends you can really trust to compassionately care for your loved one... and for your family.
- We've streamlined the funeral arrangement process. Since we've been making funeral arrangements with families for a very long time, we've had ample opportunity to learn the easiest, most efficient way to get through the process. Believe us when we say, it won't take as long as you think.
- Our team is trained to handle all the details. And we do mean all of them. From filing insurance, social security, or veterans administration paperwork, to greeting and bidding farewell to your guests—and everything in between.
Exactly What Happens at the Funeral Home?
While we can't speak to every situation, we can tell you the bare basics of what to expect on your first visit to our funeral home.
- When you come through the front door, you will be greeted warmly by a staff member. Names will be exchanged, and hands shaken in cordiality. Some words of comfort will be offered.
- Once informed of the reason for your visit, you will be directed to the funeral director's office or arrangement office.
- Before the funeral arrangement conversation goes very far, you will be given a copy of our General Price List, Casket Price List, and any other appropriate price-related documents. This is done to ensure compliance with the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule.
The funeral director will then ask you a number of questions. Think about it this way: your conversation is intended to do two things:
- Share accurate biographical details of the deceased to assist the funeral director in completing relevant paperwork; and
- Come to an agreement about the plans for the funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life.
Clearly State the Facts
When it comes to properly completing death paperwork, and writing a detailed obituary, accuracy is everything. So, when it comes to the first task, that of sharing your loved one's biographical details, you'll want to bring as much documentation of the following as possible:
- The deceased's full name
- Their Social Security number
- Parent's names
- Spouse and children's names
- Maiden name of mother
- Marital status
- Educational history
- History of military service
- Work history
- Hobbies and interests
- Church affiliation
- A list of organizational and club memberships
- A recent photograph
Naturally, if you're unable to bring any of this information, you can always call us later to share whatever is missing.
Planning for the Funeral Event
The second step in the funeral arrangement conference, that of planning a meaningful ceremony to pay tribute and celebrate the life of your loved one is really at the heart of what you'll be doing that day. In order to facilitate things, we ask that you bring:
- Pre-arrangement papers, if applicable
- Clothes in which to bury or cremate your loved one
- Cemetery property information, if applicable
- A list of preferred charities for memorial donations, if applicable
- A list of pallbearers, if applicable
- Desired musical and readings selections
There are really two more things to bring: your memories, and your heart-driven creative thinking. After all, we will be guided in planning your loved one's funeral, memorial service, or celebration-of-life by your stories, personal perceptions, and insights into their character and lifestyle.
In the End
Our time together will take only as long as you need it to take. Not only that, while the time you spend with us in your first visit can be very intense and emotionally-draining; you'll be among people who really care about your welfare. We'll support you throughout the funeral arrangement process, in any way you need us to; and we believe you'll find that when you leave, you've really had very little to be anxious about. But if you still have any questions or concerns, call us today at to learn more about what to expect when you come to our funeral home.
What to Expect During the Funeral
Attending a funeral service can feel unfamiliar, especially if you are unsure of what to expect. The following guidelines may help you feel more comfortable and prepared:
- Plan to arrive 10–15 minutes early, as parking and seating may take additional time.
- Follow any directions provided by funeral staff or ushers, who may assist guests with seating and service etiquette.
- Services may be led by a clergy member, celebrant, funeral director, or another designated individual.
- Immediate family members are typically seated in the front rows, while other guests are invited to sit elsewhere in the chapel or venue.
- You may receive a printed program outlining the order of service, including readings, music, and other planned elements.
- Guests may be invited to participate in prayers, songs, or other portions of the ceremony, but participation is always a personal choice.
- Some services may include personalized activities such as sharing memories, placing flowers, releasing balloons, or contributing written messages in honor of the deceased.
Above all, simply being present to support the family is one of the most meaningful things you can do.
Will People Cry?
Even at weddings and baptisms, people cry. Just like at a funeral, these pivotal life moments are very emotionally-charged. That means you can certainly expect to find people crying at a funeral. It's always helpful to remember to bring a travel pack of tissues with you; however, the funeral home staff will also have access to tissues if you—or the person seated next to you—has a need to wipe their eyes.
But, here's something you should also know: people laugh at funerals too. A funeral is a rich bittersweet mixture of sorrow and joy. In fact, when we're at a funeral (which is fairly often) the behaviors of guests remind us of the well-known remark from Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss: “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
You'll see tears, and you may hear some laughter. Without doubt, emotions run high at funerals; sometimes there's even a demonstration of anger by one or more of the survivors. Expect people to be on their best behavior, but also know that anything can happen.
How to Leave the Funeral
The funeral officiant will make it very clear that the funeral service is over. They will invite the the immediate family and close friends to leave the building first. Unlike at the end of a theater performance, people don't simply stand up and walk out. Instead, they wait for the rows in front of them to empty before stepping out into the aisle.
Guests and family may collect outside the location for some quiet conversation. If you are now ready to leave, do your best to say a sincere good-bye to the bereaved family.
If you choose to follow the hearse and casket to the cemetery or crematory, you'll be given clear directions by members of the funeral home staff.
If you choose to leave at this point in the funeral, make a quiet, discreet exit. Make a note to yourself to contact the bereaved family by phone in the next week or so. Offer them some time to for them to talk about their loss; and if you're willing, make a few suggestions about chores and other things you could do for them. Know that even if they decline your offer, they'll be delighted to know you're thinking of them enough to call.
Call Us to Learn More
Whether this is your first funeral service, or your 100th; it can be an unnerving experience. If you've got specific questions about what to expect during a funeral service, give us a call. We'll be privileged to assist you.
What to Expect After the Funeral
After a funeral, grieving family members often ask us, "What happens next? Here's what happens after a funeral.
The Early Days After Loss
The funeral or memorial service is over. Things have begun to grow quiet; maybe the phone isn't ringing as much as it was, or fewer people are stopping by to check in on you. Your loved one's death continues to become more of a reality. And the very thought of facing your life over the next few weeks and months fills you both with loneliness and a sense of dread. It all feels like way too much to deal with, and we'd like you to know that right now it's okay to take care of yourself first.
You've got two important things to do in the coming weeks and months. As much as possible, you need to practice exquisite self-care. You also need to spend some time focused on completing the paperwork which will officially change the status of your loved one with banks and creditors; employers, insurance companies, and mortgage holders. This can be a slow process; so be prepared for the "long haul".
What is Your Relationship Status?
Let's be honest here; the degree to which your grief disempowers you, as well as the amount of flotsam and jetsam (let's just call it "paperwork") you will have to deal with both depend on the relationship you shared with the deceased. If you are the surviving spouse, a daughter or son, or have been declared as the designated executor, the responsibilities you have over the death paperwork will be much more extensive than if you were merely a loving niece, nephew or friend.
The Paperwork
Here is a checklist of the tasks you may be facing in the coming weeks. It's time to get organized. Locate and safeguard as many of the documents listed below (be sure to put each into in a designated set of file folders, and keep them within easy reach):
- Birth certificate
- Driver's License or State Identification Card
- Passport (if applicable)
- Marriage certificate
- Divorce papers (if applicable)
- Deeds and Titles to real and personal property
- Veteran's Administration Claim Number (or service discharge papers)
- Recent Income Tax Forms
- W-2 forms (if employed)
- Recent hospitalization records
- Insurance documents: Life, Health, Automobile (there may be more than one policy in each category)



